He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
