why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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