piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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