I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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