i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
two words: eviction party
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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