that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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