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we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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