I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
