I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
