Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize