Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
soo... how was my night?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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