does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This toilet bowl is my home.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
