1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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