Buhtt sex?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
