I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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