Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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