hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
