after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
