I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
