Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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