trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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