Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
