Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
