Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
