Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
