so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
