so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
