The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
