If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
