The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
