Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize