Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
