pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
