So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
