escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
A bitchslap is in order.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
