you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
