Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
this just has baby written all over it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
