OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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