He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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