Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he laminated a picture of his dick.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Randomize
