I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize