well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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