the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
