gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize