is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I love you.
Bad choice
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
