Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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