hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
