omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
