it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
