Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
