I CAN MOONWALK!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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