Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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