Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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