No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
MIDGETS
????
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize