im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize