And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
