I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
