And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
