the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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