Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
