from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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