I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
